It has been a really tough week for one Homer Plate and his little person cousin, Homeo Saucer. As you all know, while I don’t approve, Homer is a world class smack runner using his ice breaker the SS Saucer to ship his goods. After years of being king smack daddy, Homeo was finally busted off the coast of Maine with a pound of smack in one hand, and a one pound lobster tail in the other. He had planned to make a nice filet and do a little buzby on that fateful evening. I think he called it: surf and turf on the “high seas.” Such word play from the little cutey.
Monthly Archives: August 2010
As proven the past few seasons, just when the Phillies seem to be down and out, i.e. being swept at home by the Houston Astros, a trip to the west coast is just what the doctor ordered. That trend seems to be taking form during this current road trip, after the Phillies won again today 3-1 over San Diego. Today’s win comes on the heals of yet another marathon outing last night, which they won 3-2 in 12 innings. The Phillies are 17-9 against the National League West division teams so far in 2010.
Everyone knows the third preseason game is the one to watch, as it’s the most like regular-season action with the starters playing at least three quarters and some new plays are put on display. It’s discouraging, then, when the best drive of the game comes from the third-string offense at the end of the fourth quarter.
This past weekend I found myself tasked with the chore of cleaning out my parent’s attic. Call it being a good son or just doing Mom and Pop a solid. Either way it wasn’t much fun. I spent a good four hours rifling through everything from dusty suitcases to creepy old Halloween costumes (literally three bags full, which is odd considering I spent about 75% of my Halloweens as either a ghost or a bum. We’ll leave that one alone for now.)
So back to the attic, which I bring up, not to flaunt what was obviously a riveting Saturday afternoon but rather to discuss the 1993 Philadelphia 76ers. How’d we get there you ask? Let me explain. In 1993 I had three prized possessions and I will list them in order of awesomeness. 1) My 1989 Ken Griffey Jr. Upper Deck rookie card 2) My maroon and white Nike Air Jordan’s, and 3) My Dirty Dunk clothes hamper.
It was just before midnight this past Saturday evening and I was standing on the bow-stern-tip-who the hell knows what it’s called of the SS Smack ready to take the big dive into a floating piece of ice off the Canadian coast just to end it all. If I was Leo Dicaprio I’d have some babe with me to deter my imminent life ending, self imposed plummet into the murky depths of the Atlantic. Instead, it was Homeo who spared me from my frosty leap by poking his cute little little person’s head out of the galley door and yelling: “Hey Homer, I made pie!”
Poor Cole Hamels. Every fifth day for him has to feel like a bad kid running down the stairs on Christmas morning only to find coal in his stocking. You really have to wonder if the rest of the team likes him or not these days. After all, before scoring a run in the bottom of the sixth, the Phillies haven’t scored a run while Cole has been on the mound since August 1st against the Nationals.
By MATTHEW WATERS Staff Writer — firstname.lastname@example.org ________
Last season seems like it was just weeks ago, especially when the same mistakes and inefficiencies lead to losses.
The Eagles lost their first game of the preseason Friday night to the Cincinnati Bengals 22-9, and it’s easy to figure out who contributed to their score. Kicker David Akers went 3 for 3 on the night, finishing what the offense started but could never finish.