Out of Left Field: Two classics: The Little Rascal and The Tiger King…or was it The Lion King?

BY HOMER PLATE, Humor Columnist

I’m really starting to wonder what the heck I’m doing here? I am a “sports humor writer” and all I seem to ever write about is dead dogs and live dongs. Over the past two weeks, I’ve heard Randy Miller interviewed by every media outlet this side of the Mason Jar full of KY Jelly Dickson Line.

It seems Miller wrote a book about Harry the K and his career as one of the greatest men behind the mike the sports world has ever known. He also deals with the troublesome exploits of Harry’s life and that was his apparent love for the lovely ladies. Now before all of you get your trunks all bound up and start the Homer hate mail barrage, can I please make my point! I think all of you read my heartfelt ditty on Harry a few weeks ago so you know I respect what the man meant to the City (and me).

This is my point. On WIP, Glen Macnow, while interviewing Miller labeled Harry a “rascal.” Tiger Woods got vilified for his infidelities and Harry was a rascal? Isn’t that a bit of propaganda nonsense? If you are married and you go to see Cheap Trick and end up naked with a cheap chick you not a rascal, you are a cheatin, lousy creep in the Homer Horny Book of Love.

But again, while I say that, I still contend that none of us should know about the personal lives of Harry or Tiger. To be quite honest with you, when I try to created a visual of either situation, the semi permanent Homer boner shrivels like a dead snake on an Arizona highway.

But I really have to say that even on a regional level, Harry is treated with kid gloves when compared to Mr. Woody. And I also can take into account that one should never speak ill of the deceased. That is not what I’m doing here. If you want to bash me for that, then make damn sure that anyone who writes a book about Harry donate any and all proceeds to spousal abuse groups.

What I am simply saying if Tiger has to hold himself to a priest like standard (although a priest like standard may land me somewhere around Bridge and Pratt), then so must Harry. It’s really just that simple.

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