High Hopes Scumbag HOF

BY MATTHEW NADU,  Contributor

Congratulations to Andre Dawson on becoming the sole representative for the 2010 National Baseball Hall of Fame . “The Hawk”  will forever stand among the kings of baseball. His impressive physique along with his even more impressive numbers made Dawson a natural and fan favorite during a career that spanned three decades. Dawson will enter the Hall as a Cubbie, and rightfully so, sporting the blue in 1987  as the NL MVP. About the only thing he couldn’t do was bring “The North Siders” a century overdue championship.

So thank you Andre and to all you Cubbies fans out there, better luck next year.

Speaking of better luck, Bert Blyleven fell just five votes short of the 75 percent  vote by the Baseball Writers’ Association of America needed to crack the gates. Hang in there Bert, your time is near; much closer than some other players on the election ballot this year.

Yes, we’re talking Robbie Alomar and “Big Mac” McGuire and with their names we start the top 10 Hall of Fame  worthy scumbaggers.

10. Roberto Alomar

Without a doubt top three second basemen of all-time and should’ve been inducted this year. Fantastic numbers, fantastic fielding range, and fantastic spitter. Always love a guy who pulls a page out of the  “I hate Keith Hernandez” book.

9. Rafael Palmeiro

With his incredible defense and mind-boggling consistency at the plate, Palmeiro is one of the most underrated sluggers of all-time. And after his date with the Grand Jury, one of the most underrated liars too.

8. Roger Clemens

Although I don’t care for Mike Piazza either, I don’t know if I’d throw a bat his way. I guess “The Rocket” thought he’d want it as a token of their friendship. Much like Roger took pretty much any rocket fuel that came his way.

7. Gaylord Perry

Yes, the name’s correct. So is the information in his 1974 autobiography Me and the Spitter. The “Spitter” of course is a spit fastball. Whether you refer to it as the spit ball, mud ball or shine ball it’s been illegal in baseball since 1921 with only 17 pitchers of the day granted an exception. Fifty years later Gaylord exempted himself from the ban, now he’s a Hall of Famer.

6. Darryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden

Don’t let the peachy names full ya. These baseball bad boys of the 80’s and early 90’s took New York by storm becoming the two most underachieving teammates in history. Now just their careers combined are hall worthy. Both had the numbers, the potential and the cocaine to prove it.

5. Sammy Sosa

Slammin’ Sammy could hit, boy could he hit. Throughout his playing days he brought honor to his country, cork for the fans, juice for his teammates and when he forgot English in front of the Grand Jury, he brought and interpreter there too. That’s one hell of an ambassador.

4. Mark McGwire

Roger Maris would be turning in his grave if he knew a Big Mac broke his single season record but we’re “not here to talk about the past.” Unfortunately McGwire’s HOF future doesn’t look like it’s coming via Happy Meal.

3. Kenesaw Mountain Landis

The former judge banned the members of the 1919 “Black Sox Scandal” from baseball for life. Although players such as HOF worthy Joe Jackson are frequently convincingly proven innocent from throwing the Series, the ban still remains.

Landis continued his Hall of Fame career by becoming the first Commissioner of Baseball in 1920, thus eliminating the spit ball (Gaylord) and African-Americans from baseball until his timely death in 1944. Three years later Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier.

2. Ty Cobb

Second all-time hits leader but first class racist. Cobb was a known racist who once beat up a handicapped man in the stands for calling his mother half black.  But hell, the guy was the best in the biz at throwing tantrums, his sharpened spikes into opposing players shins and the occasional game for the bookies.

Take that Happy Gilmore.

1. Pete Rose

Just kidding. He bet on his team not against them. That doesn’t count.

Real no. 1. Barry Bonds

The man’s on top of the record books, on top of his lies, on top of his marriage and on top of his cycles. Congratulations Barry on being king of  High Hopes Scumbag Hall of Fame!

He broke nearly every record imaginable and with it he broke the intergity of baseball.

Note: Unfortunately not all the best could be included in this list but the top runner up’s go to Philly favorites Jose Canseco and Curt Schilling.



Filed under Editorial, Matthew Nadu

6 responses to “High Hopes Scumbag HOF

  1. Lord Jay

    Hay-ho. This is what I say ho. : Great list. I actaully really enjoyed it. Clever and good pick wif Kenesaw. But I think marky mc hurt the integrity of the game more than Ty. Nasty guy. But.

  2. That he did but everyone knows mac’s and ass not too many people know about cobb. Plus mac killed people with his red goatee cobb did it with his bare fists. That’s bonus points on my list

  3. Kenesaw Mountain Landis… what a pick. And Ty Cobb was as big a scumbag as you get. So that’s a great pick at two. Nicely done Matthew!

  4. Rick

    nice list but here’s a few add-ons.

    #6 should have been the 1986 METS TEAM. Dwight Gooden (drugs, booze) and Darryl Strawberry (drugs, booze, tax evasion, spousal assault) snorted away careers bound for immortality, and evidence suggests they were among the lesser offenders; Shea’s clubhouse served as breeding ground for scumbags-in-training like Kevin Mitchell (reported father-puncher, possible unrepentant cat-killer) and Lenny Dykstra (massive reported steroid abuse, drunken car crash that seriously injured a teammate plus he defrauded scores of people posing as some type of stock guru….yeah right).

    Ex-Yankee Billy Martin was the biggest scumbag of all time, he deserves mention here too if not the top spot!

  5. See I like billy martin. I see him as a wiry guy with too much compassion that didn’t know how to talk to people. He would be in a top 10 character list along with lou piniella and earl weaver.

    But the 86 mets team in general is good. As well as an 89 oakland team that was roided up or the pirates team of the 80’s. Actually we could just list the whole decade to avoid argument.

  6. Great blog! I cannot remember too clearly but I think I found your blog through a link someone shared on Twitter. . I truly love the stuff I have read on your website and plan to keep reading when I get more time. Do you have a Twitter profile?

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